Dear TPTB at Otterbein,
Would you please stop screwing up various paperwork in my file and my financial balance please?
Signed,
I’m tired of making trips to your offices

You know those nights when you’re just irrationally irritated at the entire world for no apparent reason? That’s tonight … wow, I need coffee …

I shouldn’t have to leave for class the first week without my books just because the person at the online order pick-up table at the Bookstore is who knows where and I can’t stand there awkwardly and wait any longer without being late.

Dear editor,
I am sick and tired of Otterbein’s lack of good men. WHY are 70 percent in relationships and the other 30 percent straight up douchers? This is college for God’s sake and it is supposed to be a place for you to learn and also to party and meet mass amounts of single guys. Clearly, that is not the case at Otterbein.
Sincerely,
frustrated and single

Dear Editor,
Why does Otterbein Police have to ruin everything fun? They can take out their sexual frustrations elsewhere instead of on us.

That awkward moment when your class starts half an hour earlier than you thought it did…

I can’t tell if Week 1 is the best or the worse, because most of us don’t have much homework, but if we do, it’s like Chapter 1 of our textbooks, which is always the most awful bull ever written about “What does insert course title here mean?”

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to webeditor@otterbein360.com, subject line ‘cardinal complaints.’

Publication in Cardinal Complaints is up to the discretion of Otterbein360.